SOLITUDE AND PANDEMIC
It was March 17th, when I came back home from the hostel, thinking things are going to be as temporary as a vacation. Changes are hard for me to accept and take longer to get used to them and once I’m made comfortable, then going back to what was normal is painful as well.
Who says that they hate travelling? It makes me a weirdo, in the crowd, also makes me feel ‘less’ and the idea that something is wrong with me leads to lower self-acceptance. One followed by many other acts has made me think, how things are ‘different’ for me. Major fun and happy activities are not-so-fun and happy when it comes to me, to not let others down, is when I forcefully push myself to participate, that demolishes my own needs.
So, now is the time when I am home working all alone, it has given me the freedom to focus but not distracted by ‘major fun ideas’, I am doing whatever and how I want it to be. Me alone in my room, as no one is watching me in person, fear of being judged is also somewhat vanishing. I can now listen to real needs, causes, information and views that this world has to offer and I don’t know.
It was mid-June when I was working on a design assignment and listening to a TED talk speaker. As the video ends, it was aligned with another TED x talk with the title, “The Gentle Power of Highly Sensitive Person” by Elena Herdieckerhoff. First thought, what is it?
Imagine that feeling, when getting a tiny hint, ‘what a thing can be’, but wanting to know, how much, or it is just an imagination for the thing that is even more interesting.
She there talked about a book “Highly Sensitive Person”, mentioning it as a discovery of a research psychologist Dr Elaine N. Aron.
A ‘meme’ is something so relatable and validates kinds of activity, telling you, you are not the only person or alone; eventually uplifts the ‘confidence’ at some level; is what that ‘video’ plus ‘book’ did to me, but for my whole ‘personality’.
How can a person develop so much self-confidence, just living in a nutshell? It was the solitude, that let me think about myself, I use to think a lot but it helped me “acknowledge my thoughts”, thoughts that I want to share also not; that’s when I started writing on notes, on my phone, it helped me relax and feel that its a ‘Call’, I want to write, write by my own.
It’s crazy to think for a person, who has never found it as something exciting, is now working on her writing in a dedicated class, so here we are, as Kate said; ‘Everything Happens For A Reason’. :D
